Surgery VERY Soon

Surgery in just over a week. T is scared as expected about the physical aspect mostly. I'm scared of both the physical and the emotional, having previously worked as a surgical coordinator, the surgery scares me a little, because any surgery is a risk.......but more I'm worried about the psychological effect that probably won't completely hit T until after surgery.

A full mastectomy, even on just one side is no small thing to deal with. Our saving grace is that the reconstruction surgeon will at the very least begin reconstruction at the same time. This gives me some peace as T will not have to ever see herself with just the mastectomy scar, which can look quite brutal. The scar with immediate reconstruction will much easier to deal with. It will still look brutal at 1st, but better as time goes on....getting T though that time will be hard as she will no doubt worry the scars will not heal as well as they will.

This surgery is WAY WAY different from people who have cosmetic surgery (increase/decrease the size of their breasts) to simply change their appearance. Those people have more skin and tissue to work with and the operation is significantly easier and has a much faster recovery and less pain....or so I'm told by a cousin who had a boob job.

I have one big hope with this, and that is that they can do the reconstruction in one shot, which may be possible and is the plan, but the surgeon won't know until they are in the thick of it. The amount of skin and tissue they have to work with, or without will be the deciding factor.

We are told because it's a complete mastectomy AND reconstruction the recovery could be anywhere from 4 to 6 or even 8 weeks and quite painful in the first few weeks.

I'm scared for her......admittedly more for the psychological effects then the physical ones. I love her more then anything, so for me, I could have cared less if she choose reconstruction or not. My love and desire for her will not be effected in the least. I just want to grow old with her. I only want the reconstruction because I know it will make it a bit easier for her to deal and heal and feel whole. I could be wrong, but I don't think she could handle it without the reconstruction.

As some of you may know, I have asthma, which is WAY worse when I'm stressed out.....been waking up hardly able to breath and coughing my lungs out. The only thing that seems to help besides the inhalers is the left over xanax I have from many years ago that the doctor gave me when I lost the baby, and never used much of then.....that and hot coffee keep me out of the ER for my stress induced asthma attacks.

I think a lot of it has had to do (in recent days) with us having to and completing our Wills. Had to be done realistically, but was hard. I like to just think positive about all this and plan for a long future together. Thankfully, that will be completed today at some point thanks to the help of some dear friends, and we can file them aside and be done talking about all that.

Perhaps my stress level will get a teeny bit better, so I can concentrate on T more, although until she comes out of surgery, I think my asthma problems will persist.

I try to stay positive and we have both taken to doing some things separately with friends to occupy our minds. One friend is even taking T's surgery date off to come sit with me in the waiting room while T has her surgery.....how freaking awesome is that!

OK, I need to get a move on now....lots to do to get those wills finalized today and I haven't had a thing to eat yet.....not that I can;t stand to loose some poundage.....LOL

Like I said, trying to keep my humor in tact and stay positive and I must say, I really do feel like everything is going to be OK.....she still has to get weekly IVs of Herceptin to keep the cancer from coming back for many more months, and radiation on the distant horizon (after full surgery recovery).....but that's all going to do good things........think positive thoughts for us..........later friends.....

Some Victories Today

Victory Number 1


Today is T's Last Chemotherapy!


Victory Number 2

T's scans show much improvement all around.....what was in her lungs is no longer visible, which was our big concern as the tumor on her breast will be removed surgically as will the lymph nodes under her arm.

Next step.....1 more scan next week and then a surgical consult the week after......surgery, then radiation.

She has to continue weekly IV's of one of her non-chemo drugs for the next year through all of this, although they may eventually be spaced further apart after the next month or 2.

Some of the side effect's will take 6 months to a year to get better, but we're headed in the right direction.

Victory Number 3

The Health Care Advocate for the State of CT, or rather his top employee, "M" and I, and our wonderful Oncologist, Dr. H, her billing manager G, called United Heath Care OUT on their lies. They claimed we and the doctors never sent them the forms they needed to process this claim and tried to say it was pre-existing. She also tried to say nothing was denied, but "in-review"

WELL.....

I had gotten copies of the flat out denial letters they sent Tina's doctors from G, scanned them in and sent them to her and cc:ed the Advocate AND the employer's liaison to UHC. Caught!

Dr. H called them herself twice and documented  who she spoke to and when and that she had made it perfectly clear this was not pre-existing.

G, had copies of all the forms she had sent to them (as did I) and copied and sent them again along with a new form faxed to her AND a copy to the Health Care Advocate as did all of T's doctors, making it clear that the UHC lady was a liar again.

Let me mention again how awesome the Health Care Advocate, M, was and is....she set it up so that ALL correspondence regarding T must be sent by email for documentation purposed and cc:ed to her, me, the HR liaison for T's employer to the insurance company......so when she lies or does something half @ssed, the Advocate and I could call her out for all to see.

Bottom Line, T may continue her care with HER doctors going forward and her claims will be processed.

Mind you, I'll believe they will pay those bills only when I see a check has been issued to her doctors and not before, because that UHC lady is sneaky. Thankfully the Advocate has her number and our back.

Sooooo relieved, I can't begin to tell you how many nights sleep I have lost over all this in the past month.

Special Note

Tina's doctors and their staff have been wonderful to us....they care for T and fight for her....and they even share in our joys at the small victories along the way.

Today is a GOOD DAY!

United HealthCare Doesn't Care about Cancer Patients (Part 2)

...and the battle continues....made a teeny weeny amount of headway today.

I got the Office of the Patient Advocate of CT involved and she and I both called the head of HR at T's employer's corporate office, he got his staff involved and we got a big-shot at UHC care involved.

I got....completed...... and scanned a ton of documents and emailed them all over the place, and tomorrow I'm going to Staples so I can fax a questionnaire to all of  T's doctors asking them to complete it, fax it to the big shot at UHC and then mail it to the regular PO Box Addy on the form.

...then I will let the HealthCare Advocate, and everyone else I got involved know that I did that...

....then I will hold my breath and hope they pay the damn bills!!!!!

I am beyond disgusted with United HealthCare. They KNOW this is not pre-existing, and still they try and get away with not paying.

I feel helpless.....even as I try to help my wife save her own life and get the medical care she needs to survive, UHC is trying to get away with trying to deny her this, but they have no problem taking her money for this "insurance coverage".....what coverage?

I am just beside myself.....i sit and think in a daze for hours.........helpless, hopeful, doing what little I can.

If this continues to affect her care further, I will file the biggest most public lawsuit her employer or UHC has ever seen!

Why can't they just do the right thing? Why is this a battle? Isn't finding out about the cancer and dealing with all of that enough? REALLY?!?!?

This is their last chance to do the right thing.....and they better move fast.