Sunday, September 12, 2010

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Had 2 whole good days where Tina didn't feel too bad. Even had company over one night and made it to the Oyster Fest for about an hour.

Today sucked! and tomorrow doesn't look good either. T's hair has started falling out in clumps and her scalp hurts something awful.

What's worse is she's shutting me out.....this has all been the most horrible experience ever......I do as much as anyone who loves someone going through this can do and sometimes she says she appreciates it and sometime, like today, she just shuts me out completely. She's been in the other room almost since the second I got up this morning and now it's night and she will no doubt fall asleep for the night.

I feel helpless, rejected, and worthless.

I've been alone all day in the living room.....looked up some things to help her scalp pain, but she won't even try them......she just wants to be alone in bed.......I don't think I've cried this much in my entire life combined....I was so upset I even threw up a few times, and if you know me, i never EVER throw up, no matter how sick I get.

Feeling miserable, rejected, alone, life sucks right now.

I love her with everything I am, but what does it matter..........


  1. You broke my heart with this. I'm so damn sorry this is happening to her and to you. Just hang on, another good day will arrive. These are just moments and they will change. xo

  2. What Greg said is so true.. it's a horrific ride you're both on and my thoughts and prayers are with you both.
    Remember, even when she seems to be shutting you out, you're in her heart and she needs you. She feels your love and appreciates it - but the pain, fear and the situation in general is turning her upside down and all around. When she opens her eyes, she's going to want to see you. Only you.

  3. Continue to offer all your love in all the space that she needs.