Friday, October 22, 2010

"I wanna newwwww drug..."

" that won't make me sick."

Sitting in chemo room with T as I write this. She's been REALLY sick as of late coupled with morning her mom and now fully understanding all her mom endured during her treatment has been a bit too much to take.

Done with the 1st set of chemo meds and now starting Taxol and Herceptin for the next 8 weeks and treatments are EVERY week now.

Scared sh!tless about how she will react to the Taxol. Tina has a little neuropathy in her hands already without the Taxol and the Taxol is known to cause or worsen that side-effect....can't catch a break.

They SAY the nausea should not be as bad on this new drug, but the new drug has it's own set of scary side-effects...neuropathy in hands and feet being the worst on the list.

Oh and did I mention these meds make menopause worse......wicked hot flashes! Poor T goes from blazing hot to freezing cold and back again in minutes at times.

As for me, I'm loosing my mind at times.....hard to watch and not be able to do anything but be there....and by hard I mean sometimes I want to scream and hit things. She sometimes out of pain, sickness, grief, frustration and 100 other things will just curl up in a ball and weep uncontrollably. Rips my heart out.

I keep saying to her and myself that in 6 to 8 month or so, this will be over.....but it's little comfort.

That is all for now.....that's enough


  1. But it's working and don't ever let yourself forget that. You are going through this hell but you will come out to see the other side of it b/c it's working.

    Just keep letting it out in any way you can. Don't stop writing it out. It helps in small ways but it does help. Thinking of you both.

  2. i agree with what Greg said. it is so hard to sit back and feel helpless watching someone we love go through such awfulness. but she is young, and they say that the treatment is working. wish there was some thing i could offer, alas, i only have *gentle hugs* for you both.

  3. i know we don't know one another, except here in the blogasphere, but i hope everything gets better for you both. (could not leave a comment on the most recent post), take special care of you~~